Why is this week so harsh on me T_T

I thought the month of November would be better than Oct. But I was so wrong. Sleepless nights, having insomnias despite being so tired from work.. Just when I was so lost in life, a voice told me ” As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. So please always be happy.”

I was almost brought to tears. I feel so ashamed of myself……

Anyway, I have forgotten I invited guests on Friday and Saturday for my birthday. Someone had to remind me. This was how bad my week was I’ve forgotten everything happening this weekend. This year, my birthday wish is to be happy. Can people just let be happy for one time? I promise to deal with everything after this weekend, can I?

I’ve never felt so crossed in life before. Can someone just give me a hug and tell me I really matter to them? I feel so unimportant and unwanted sometimes….