Helllooooo earthlings.

It’s been quite sometimes since I last wrote.

Just some slight update about my life currently.

Got in and out of job due to the recession and instability of economy.. But it’s all good at least I can take this chance to do whatever I want that I can’t when I’m employed.

1. It was fortunate that I ran into my ex-boss and got into the current job position. Extremely thankful and I hope it lasts since the corporate world hasn’t been very kind to me..
2. I’m struggling to keep myself balanced in my mindset, against all the very unfortunate things in my life that brings me to where I am today
3. I hope this year would be kind to me or else I’d try my best to think of ways that I can be positive about.

The beginning of the year have began with a big welcome to a real challenge to myself – my health depleting (not sure if it’s the ageing process or was it my unhealthy lifestyle of working over the past decade) but I’m hopeful in trying to include healthy way of living from now onwards cuz firstly I don’t want to be down with health issues that make me feel paralyzed from working as working has been a vital part of my life as I have nothing to depend on other than myself.

There was a time where someone told me ” You don’t have to be so strong all the time. It’s okay to show your weakness to people who thought you’re doing fine when you’re not” I guess that was probably a time where I felt these words hugged all the odds in my life that I feel so tormented about.. I tried all ways to think or even searched all possible engines to find answers as to how can I finally feel happy with my life. I’m not happy as if I showed to the public to be honest, but I keep reminding myself I have to be because life still goes on even if I’m unhappy.

There and then, I start of think about what I want in my life. I think I want a comfy home with warmth from a family I can feel I belong to, and I hope whoever who’s going to be part of my life in the future is willing to stay in my life and handle all my insecurities from a broken family that I came from. It really felt horrible to have no one in your family tree that can make you feel like you do have a family, I guess that’s what I never shared to people that people kept assuming that everything in my life seemed perfect though I am really just like a wilting plant on the inside.

I look perfectly fine, I carry on with my life working day in day out. I laugh all the time at the slightest things, but I guess when I’m all alone, all those thoughts would come daunting at my doors again. And I hate that I am down whenever I’m alone, it is really not that I’m alone, but it is when I’m not occupied with something when I’m alone that brings everything negative back into my mind.

Anyway! That being said, I wish that I’d sort out my thinkings real soon and it’s a year I hope I put in more effort, perform better at my work and deliver quality work to the opportunity given to me for working here now. Other than that, I am hoping that I get healed emotionally so I can be a happier person in time to come.

Fingers crossed, I also hope whoever that’s reading the post here do get blessed with overflowing happiness amidst this year of recession. Let’s all work hard and do well in life altogether!