Hi earthlings.

Good to be back at this space once again. Hope everyone is well. Sending all my regards to all my fellow readers here, if there’s even a loyal fan of reading my boring updates. There were many chain of events on a daily basis and it was barely just 3 over months into this journey and it felt really mentally exhausting, however, that being said, I felt it was positive in a way where I have learnt a lot compared to my past 9 or rather, close to 10 years working.. nothing beats stepping into this industry that was a life changer as well as a real eye opener.

There were so many mixed feelings. Before I start, I am more than thankful to the person who have encouraged and brought me into this journey, though at times I get a little grumpy amidst this rocky way of ups and downs (giggles cheekily), and of course bitter sweet and sour at times because there is so much challenges and I never knew anything could affect me this much or should I say I can be quite emotional at times and learning how to be logical more than being emotional is an art.

Firstly, I guess being a semi-introvert or rather, being someone who’s only functionally sociable in nature, it was pretty hard to take up a role like this because I never knew it was this exhausting to have to mix around and gel with every single person. To be really honest, initially, a consecutive 3-4 nights of having to network and talk to people drain my social battery till a point where I just wanted 2-3 days break of talking to people who are work-related (haha!) What a weak, I know right. Yeah, but I know at the end of the day no one is going to understand this nor no one even cares whether you are trying your best on this aspect because sad to say, reality hurts – that no one is supposed to understand and yes I acknowledge that it is my decision to enter so I cannot complain. So, not complaining but just stating one of a big challenge to me was this, and to make things even more challenging is that I cannot believe I have to even take a step forward to even talk to people whom I am not so keen to because I know I need to be professional about my job. Like it or not, it’s doing my job right and it’s not about expecting people to understand that I’m taking a big step to even go this extend (ah! sucks but yeah, I have never done this for my past jobs until today when I’m here) – yeah, if you ask me, that’s survival.

Secondly, I have to address that along this journey, be it good or bad, there are always people who show you that there’s kindness in this world and on the flipside, there will always be people who show you otherwise. I am still very thankful to people who made me see things more clearly that I did not before, and also thankful for people who lent me a helping hand despite me being very new and green to this industry of work. At times, I felt so grateful and so touched that when I cannot be of help to anyone when I’m so new and green, yet there are people who are willing to guide me along, cheered me on, encourage me to be greater and better when I felt so small about myself. There were also days I question why people have to be so mean that they forgotten they used to be like me when they first started; actually as day goes by, I’ve also learnt that in this corporate world, it is about adapting it is about accepting what’s in for you.

Thirdly, trusting the right people – I have always thought I’m always right about people but it was being in this journey that made me realize sometimes being trustful to people that you thought would not do you harm, but things and incidents that happen, made me realize that I should just go to work, get things done, do what I have to, say nothing else more than just work and keep it there. I should keep all my personal things all to myself and let nothing out of the bag. You just never know who is going to do harm to you even though that was something you felt so fragile about in your life, no one knows how tough it was for you and what was your life really like, to even let the cat out of the bag.

I have so little time to learn and grasp everything, yet there are so many expectations on me to do well within a short timeframe – always having to chase tight timelines, from a job where I can be so individual about, can get things done without going to anyone or asking someone for favor, to now even if I don’t wish to ask for a favor, I know I have to regardless, cuz that’s called giving people respect.. haha! I have never envisioned working in a team can be so challenging sometimes until a point I feel no matter how tough the job is, it is not as tough as having to appease someone whom you’re so unwilling/reluctant to. That sucks, and that is just so not me. But at the end of the day, I gotta remind myself again, hey you are the one who made this decision to enter this job so stop complaining and keep your chins up, carry on and do what you have to. Oh damn!

I promised to give myself one year. I’m going to build a foundation for someone else that’s gonna take over me in the future, hopefully, I also leave a good faith of name to someone who chose to help me along this tough journey despite all the dismay she/he have gone through. (felt a little sad for the person so I have to make sure I make it to make some small achievements from here in return)

Pfffft. There is so much I wanted to share, but unfortunately, there is only this much I could share online. Nothing against anyone here, but I just wanted to jot things down here like a little journey and look back after a year about my writeups on this journey I’ve been thru. (laughs)

Anyway, this is a public holiday that I really wanted some me time for myself. You have no idea how even have the time to write a small journal here felt like a true luxury in my life. Haha! Ok, see you when I write again. Not so soon definitely~

Stay strong for everyone that is going thru a battle that no one knows of – you’re not alone. And remember, many times you don’t necessarily need someone to understand what you go thru, you only need to know it yourself that you’re doing great, you’re doing awesome to go thru every battle all by yourself and still surviving every day safe and sound! JIAYOU!!! We can do this \m/ !