Hi earthlings.

Good to be back at this space once again. Hope everyone is well. Sending all my regards to all my fellow readers here, if there’s even a loyal fan of reading my boring updates. There were many chain of events on a daily basis and it was barely just 3 over months into this journey and it felt really mentally exhausting, however, that being said, I felt it was positive in a way where I have learnt a lot compared to my past 9 or rather, close to 10 years working.. nothing beats stepping into this industry that was a life changer as well as a real eye opener.

There were so many mixed feelings. Before I start, I am more than thankful to the person who have encouraged and brought me into this journey, though at times I get a little grumpy amidst this rocky way of ups and downs (giggles cheekily), and of course bitter sweet and sour at times because there is so much challenges and I never knew anything could affect me this much or should I say I can be quite emotional at times and learning how to be logical more than being emotional is an art.

Firstly, I guess being a semi-introvert or rather, being someone who’s only functionally sociable in nature, it was pretty hard to take up a role like this because I never knew it was this exhausting to have to mix around and gel with every single person. To be really honest, initially, a consecutive 3-4 nights of having to network and talk to people drain my social battery till a point where I just wanted 2-3 days break of talking to people who are work-related (haha!) What a weak, I know right. Yeah, but I know at the end of the day no one is going to understand this nor no one even cares whether you are trying your best on this aspect because sad to say, reality hurts – that no one is supposed to understand and yes I acknowledge that it is my decision to enter so I cannot complain. So, not complaining but just stating one of a big challenge to me was this, and to make things even more challenging is that I cannot believe I have to even take a step forward to even talk to people whom I am not so keen to because I know I need to be professional about my job. Like it or not, it’s doing my job right and it’s not about expecting people to understand that I’m taking a big step to even go this extend (ah! sucks but yeah, I have never done this for my past jobs until today when I’m here) – yeah, if you ask me, that’s survival.

Secondly, I have to address that along this journey, be it good or bad, there are always people who show you that there’s kindness in this world and on the flipside, there will always be people who show you otherwise. I am still very thankful to people who made me see things more clearly that I did not before, and also thankful for people who lent me a helping hand despite me being very new and green to this industry of work. At times, I felt so grateful and so touched that when I cannot be of help to anyone when I’m so new and green, yet there are people who are willing to guide me along, cheered me on, encourage me to be greater and better when I felt so small about myself. There were also days I question why people have to be so mean that they forgotten they used to be like me when they first started; actually as day goes by, I’ve also learnt that in this corporate world, it is about adapting it is about accepting what’s in for you.

Thirdly, trusting the right people – I have always thought I’m always right about people but it was being in this journey that made me realize sometimes being trustful to people that you thought would not do you harm, but things and incidents that happen, made me realize that I should just go to work, get things done, do what I have to, say nothing else more than just work and keep it there. I should keep all my personal things all to myself and let nothing out of the bag. You just never know who is going to do harm to you even though that was something you felt so fragile about in your life, no one knows how tough it was for you and what was your life really like, to even let the cat out of the bag.

I have so little time to learn and grasp everything, yet there are so many expectations on me to do well within a short timeframe – always having to chase tight timelines, from a job where I can be so individual about, can get things done without going to anyone or asking someone for favor, to now even if I don’t wish to ask for a favor, I know I have to regardless, cuz that’s called giving people respect.. haha! I have never envisioned working in a team can be so challenging sometimes until a point I feel no matter how tough the job is, it is not as tough as having to appease someone whom you’re so unwilling/reluctant to. That sucks, and that is just so not me. But at the end of the day, I gotta remind myself again, hey you are the one who made this decision to enter this job so stop complaining and keep your chins up, carry on and do what you have to. Oh damn!

I promised to give myself one year. I’m going to build a foundation for someone else that’s gonna take over me in the future, hopefully, I also leave a good faith of name to someone who chose to help me along this tough journey despite all the dismay she/he have gone through. (felt a little sad for the person so I have to make sure I make it to make some small achievements from here in return)

Pfffft. There is so much I wanted to share, but unfortunately, there is only this much I could share online. Nothing against anyone here, but I just wanted to jot things down here like a little journey and look back after a year about my writeups on this journey I’ve been thru. (laughs)

Anyway, this is a public holiday that I really wanted some me time for myself. You have no idea how even have the time to write a small journal here felt like a true luxury in my life. Haha! Ok, see you when I write again. Not so soon definitely~

Stay strong for everyone that is going thru a battle that no one knows of – you’re not alone. And remember, many times you don’t necessarily need someone to understand what you go thru, you only need to know it yourself that you’re doing great, you’re doing awesome to go thru every battle all by yourself and still surviving every day safe and sound! JIAYOU!!! We can do this \m/ !

Hello little readers if you guys are checking on me. I’m thankful 🙂

Hope everyone’s coping well with your life. Tho it has been quite draining on my body for the past 2 weeks, but actually I think everything happens for a reason. We just have to keep thinking about how it can bring positive impact to our lives.

If you ask me, I’ve met a fair share of people from all walks of life. Good or bad, they all teach me lessons I wouldn’t have learnt it back in school. I’m thankful for all the odds, it taught me how I shouldn’t think that this world is perfect and think how everything should begin from me, myself. I should correct my mindset so everything in me will be more positive, everything will be easier to pass by when it gets real bad. When the day gets really bad, tell me who doesn’t have a bad day? Everyone has. They just don’t tell you, so who am I to always think that I’m the only one who has a bad day.

There are days it gets bad and just let emotions run. Sometimes tearing is not a weakness, it is a way of releasing of unhappiness. It’s okay, just tear all the negativity out and move on from it, telling yourself you’d be fine after that. Fix yourself back, you can be happy again if you choose to. Do something, anything or everything that makes yourself happy again. Don’t have to feel sorry or you do not have to explain what you do for yourself. Give yourself the space and time 🙂

There was someone who told me as long as you try to make yourself feel better about yourself, love yourself more, then you’d attract all positive things that you want to if you’re positive yourself. I’d like to believe it’s true. I’m putting it into practice.

I’m extremely thankful to the good people around me that talked to me, held onto me when I was at my lowest tho it was tough to handle me at times, but I’m grateful there are people who really cares for me genuinely. How can I still have any reason to keep feeling upset? It’s unhealthy. Time to be healthy!

I hope anyone and everyone who’s reading my post, you should CHOOSE to be happy too after you’re done grieving. You shouldn’t allow yourself to grieve too long, everyone will have bad days. If you dwell on it continuously, it’s bad for your health. Cheer up after being down, Health is everything :)!

Cheers. Xoxo.

This week was a happy one. I hadn’t stop feeling so blessed since the start of the week. Was it heaven taking pity on me?

Why am I feeling so blessed. What did I do to deserve such good friends that remembers me and values me. I guess the best encouragement comes from my long time friend(s) who thinks of me whenever they take a break from their “busy” life from home/work. They told me: ” I never felt this happy to have your company each time I see you, you’re some so full of energy and youth! You’re so sunshine! ” I’m happy this is the side they know of me 🙂

It’s comforting to know. Because I do not want people to know what they don’t have to know.

Anyway! Whenever I think of the blessings I have, I will smile to myself and tell myself, “Actually, life isn’t that bad. At least you don’t have to feel sad for moments as such. What a privilege.”

How would life be if I didn’t have such friends? I cannot imagine. How nice it is to know you’re who they think of when they want to forget their unhappiness. It is really an intangible gift money can’t buy you anytime. I’m so happy to know I have the power to bring joy and laughter to people. It’s probably the best feeling!

How did you guys’ week went? Hope it wasn’t a tough week for you guys. If it is, it’s almost the weekends! Hang on a little! I look forward to weekends, they’re my current favourite days of the week unlike the past 🙂

“The best way to understand someone’s shoes is to be in someone’s shoes”

Helllooooo earthlings.

It’s been quite sometimes since I last wrote.

Just some slight update about my life currently.

Got in and out of job due to the recession and instability of economy.. But it’s all good at least I can take this chance to do whatever I want that I can’t when I’m employed.

1. It was fortunate that I ran into my ex-boss and got into the current job position. Extremely thankful and I hope it lasts since the corporate world hasn’t been very kind to me..
2. I’m struggling to keep myself balanced in my mindset, against all the very unfortunate things in my life that brings me to where I am today
3. I hope this year would be kind to me or else I’d try my best to think of ways that I can be positive about.

The beginning of the year have began with a big welcome to a real challenge to myself – my health depleting (not sure if it’s the ageing process or was it my unhealthy lifestyle of working over the past decade) but I’m hopeful in trying to include healthy way of living from now onwards cuz firstly I don’t want to be down with health issues that make me feel paralyzed from working as working has been a vital part of my life as I have nothing to depend on other than myself.

There was a time where someone told me ” You don’t have to be so strong all the time. It’s okay to show your weakness to people who thought you’re doing fine when you’re not” I guess that was probably a time where I felt these words hugged all the odds in my life that I feel so tormented about.. I tried all ways to think or even searched all possible engines to find answers as to how can I finally feel happy with my life. I’m not happy as if I showed to the public to be honest, but I keep reminding myself I have to be because life still goes on even if I’m unhappy.

There and then, I start of think about what I want in my life. I think I want a comfy home with warmth from a family I can feel I belong to, and I hope whoever who’s going to be part of my life in the future is willing to stay in my life and handle all my insecurities from a broken family that I came from. It really felt horrible to have no one in your family tree that can make you feel like you do have a family, I guess that’s what I never shared to people that people kept assuming that everything in my life seemed perfect though I am really just like a wilting plant on the inside.

I look perfectly fine, I carry on with my life working day in day out. I laugh all the time at the slightest things, but I guess when I’m all alone, all those thoughts would come daunting at my doors again. And I hate that I am down whenever I’m alone, it is really not that I’m alone, but it is when I’m not occupied with something when I’m alone that brings everything negative back into my mind.

Anyway! That being said, I wish that I’d sort out my thinkings real soon and it’s a year I hope I put in more effort, perform better at my work and deliver quality work to the opportunity given to me for working here now. Other than that, I am hoping that I get healed emotionally so I can be a happier person in time to come.

Fingers crossed, I also hope whoever that’s reading the post here do get blessed with overflowing happiness amidst this year of recession. Let’s all work hard and do well in life altogether!

Let us all be kind to everyone and understand their plight without discrimination to all profession.

It’s been awhile since I last wrote on this little space of mine. Life hasn’t been easy, of course not that it’s special for my case. However, undeniably it affected me a little when I receive some undesirable comments from my closest as well as the how the public view me.

I’ve been watching or reading up on how people are living up to how this society expects out of you and I feel like sometimes this society just can’t be any kinder when they start judging people from their profession without knowing why they are doing this. I came across this youtube interview video where some social media “enthusiast” were interviewed why are they on “Onlyfans” and viewed them as greedy hunters for money. I just wanna express my view cuz that’s how I feel even when I didn’t go that far to be on “Onlyfans” (of course with due respect for all these people without any judgement, understanding their plights). I feel like everyone has their rights to do whatever they are capable of as long as they do not steal or do anything illegal or unrighteous.

Shouldn’t we all understand that everyone comes from different family backgrounds and we do not get a choice to choose if we are born into an affluent family, leading a lavishing life without any financial constraints and restrictions? I mean, can we just be kinder a little and avoid giving unpleasant remarks on people who are just struggling to make a living to pay for their bills or being financially independent?

Everyone have different goals and expectations in life. Say for example, today someone isn’t academically inclined to land themselves in a well recognized job title, does it really matter if they did not do anything unethical or illegal and still making the same amount of money? Or can I ask what’s the measurement means for measuring success? Are you going to determine by job title or the amount of money you earn in a month? Everyone is suitable for different things and have different preference in the work nature they are happy doing. I don’t understand why there’s a false stigma in this society where everyone are respected only based on the job titles they carry or even sometimes the way they dress or the cars they drive.

I wouldn’t say I exactly enjoy what I do at times, but I am very clear and thinking very straight on what’s the boundaries. I believe there will always be good and bad in whatever you do. There’s no perfect things in life, so we just gotta know what matters more to us and what we prioritize more. There’s always sacrifices we need to make whenever you make a decision to do something, keeping in mind that someone may not actually enjoy what they do but perhaps in the condition they are in, they place more value in getting the end result they want more at the sacrifice of taking a step out of their comfort zone. And so, since that’s the case, if you’re unaware of what hurdles this person is going through, you just give them unpleasant remarks aren’t you making their life tougher when their life is already tough enough?

Not everyone choose to show their struggles, not everyone choose to show what they go through on the net. BUT at the end of the day, that does not mean all the good times that they share online portrays that they’re living a good life as you thought it is. Perhaps it’s just the little good moments they had/treat themselves to, rewarding themselves after going thru a tough phase in life? Afterall, there’s nothing wrong in treating yourself better for going thru tough times, is it?

I just wanna do a little rant and try to voice out for all these individuals who gets judged for what they’re doing even when they did not do anything unethical or anything illegal but inviting very unpleasant judgemental comments/remarks that was really unnecessary for the people who are going through what you do not even know of, because you may be living too comfortable, have a very supportive family or good family background.

Unfortunately, not everyone are born with a silver spoon and here I am, doing nothing unethical nor illegal anyway. I just wish everyone can be a little kinder with their words because we may have gone through things you didn’t even know of.

Anyway, I’m done ranting. Just trying to let off some emotions out of my chest. I feel better now.

Let’s all be kind to one another in this society and have a healthier space to breathe.

Hello! I’ve got some time today and just wanted to pen down some thoughts about this Covid. I believe this Covid has been taking a toll on everyone’s life, be it in the business aspect, be it on human to human, socially and anything evolving around us. Covid changed our lives, changed us on a personal level too. And if you ask me, there is no surprise that I got affected by this Covid be it the loss of my job or be it the things I learnt from humanity. It is also not necessarily a sad thing either, you just got to see more things and grow from it. I’d personally feel I am actually quite thankful that Covid happen. Because then you get to see more things, know more about people whom you thought you know well enough, but later realized it may not be as deep as you know them until Covid happens. Just like how the Train to Busan, how the Squid game portrayed human’s nature as, whenever there’s a “Live or Die” situation placed.

This Covid have later transformed into a “norms” where everyone slowly accepted that it is “common” to get infected by Covid, and slowly people opened their ideas of being infected and accepted that it is okay to get infected because it is but just a common flu. However, I guess during the initial stage when the pandemic hit, everyone were all too afraid of this flu and we can say this virus has put human’s nature to a real good test.

I’m honestly happy and thankful that Covid happened, I got to realize who really cares, who are the ones who will stand by me and be there regardless of what may happen. I’m also thankful I got to realize who are my true friends and those I need to keep close to in my life and will never forget everything they did for me just to help me out during this pandemic. You could relate Covid as a chance for you to think of things in a different light, make you think about how you wanna treasure things you did not and have took for granted for pre-covid. And yeah! I certainly did, I am thankful that Covid was a wake up call for me, that I should not be too busy and take things for granted, especially things that have always been there for me. I should learn to cherish it even more, and shall not give any chance for it to be gone and be too late to realize.

I wonder how are everyone out there doing amidst of this pandemic which I hope it shall be improving in time to come. I know it has been a topsy turvy roller coaster ride for everyone, but I just want to share my personal experience to remind all of you to always remember who are the ones who are always there for you come what may.

I do not have an excellent character personally, but I know I am definitely gonna change and be a better person, and hopefully everyone who’s reading this, cherish whatever you have for you may not know what will happen next 🙂

I am now in a transition, facing mid-life crisis. I hope I will quickly get back into the right track soon and recover from this pandemic.

I am not a very expressive person where I can openly express my thankfulness to all those that have stood by me, lent me a helping hand during this covid, but if you happen to be one of them who is reading it, I just wanna say I’m really thankful for everything you guys have done and I cherish everything I have :)!

Hang on guys! COVID is ending soon!!!!! STAY STRONG!!!! We can fight this!!!

How’s everyone doing this whole year? Did anyone miss me or has anyone been checking up this dead blog of mine?

Time flies.. Within a blink, this year is coming to an end this soon. I guess this year were a year with lots of realization and I guess everything in life be it good or bad, teaches you valuable lessons you never get to learn in school. I miss school. I miss everything where things were simple and I just hustle between my school work and just hanging out with school friends. I guess it was yet another tough year for me.. Just like any other years earlier.

I browsed thru my social media, somehow, even my social media’s AI was so smart and intelligent I somehow wonder how does this AI even studied my emotions and mood. When I am happy, it shows me all the positive quotes in life on my newsfeed. And when I’m down, it literally displayed all the quotes that “reminds” me how I should just let go of things I can’t control or things that upset me all the time. Can AI please be my friend so I can talk to you without leaving trace in this mortal world hahaha. It’s crazy how I even thought of this and ponder over this. LOL.

It was really tons and tons of motivational quotes that reminds me to know my worth and know what serve my happiness and keep those that serve you happiness in your life, and keep what upsets you miles and miles away from you.

It was with a heavy heart that I’m writing my post to end this year. Christmas is coming.. and then next would be New Year… I guess it’s a good time where I channel all my energy to my work and things that serve me happiness so I can perhaps move on to a better year ahead to achieve what I want for the upcoming year. I have some good mates I met at work, I’ve learnt that I should take some time out to spend time with my friends… colleagues that helped me at work, those that I missed out earlier.

And as for all the memories within this year… will stay as memories deep down in my heart. I’d be okay. I’d be.. I have to be. And I will be.

Jiayou everyone out there who’s fighting to stay happy! I’m with you. 🙂